Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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