what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Drake has all the answers
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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