I just made out with a guy for $7.
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
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