she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
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