Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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