so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
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