He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
