Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
he was CRYING into my vagina
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
