Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Randomize