All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Randomize
