I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
