she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
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