She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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