Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize
