Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
