sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Randomize
