i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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