it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize
