Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize