I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
