Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Randomize
