I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Randomize