Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Randomize
