What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
