...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Randomize
