Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Randomize
