It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
