I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Randomize
