Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
