She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Randomize
