I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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