a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
