6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
This can only be settled by a dance off.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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