toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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