Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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