i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
