She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Randomize
