that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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