you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
