He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Randomize
