He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Randomize
