No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
