Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
