you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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