He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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