i think my mom watched the whole time
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
