found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I am one with the molecules
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
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