Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
