So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
stop calling my apartment porn island.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
True strength comes from lack of pants
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
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