Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
You're like the curious george of whores
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
