North Korea, Best Korea!
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Randomize
