Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
