He disabled his match.com account in front of me
I wish i was in the wii world.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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