You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize