windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
