# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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