I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
I checked into jail on foursquare
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize