Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
He shit in the fireplace
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
