We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Randomize
