Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
