Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
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