the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
If I die, sorry about rent.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
