I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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