I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
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