Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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