why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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