literally had 100 drinks last night.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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