My hand turned me down
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
