i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
