I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Randomize
