But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Pants are for mortals
I came so hard my ears popped.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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