no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
