I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I wish there were birth control emojis
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
