I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize
