when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize
