if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
